The Uniform Fetish

My life for the past six months in a thousand words or less.

I was told by a Tech Sergeant from the new rotation that replaced me, to wear my uniform when i'm flying on one of the connecting flights in the continental US on the way home.  Basically, how the flying logistics for redeploying back home works is that you hop on a rotator flight, which is basically a chartered flight that shuttles US military personnel from a deployed location back to a stateside airport.  After that, there's usually a 24 hour layover, and then you catch a connecting civilian airline flight to go back home.  On those connecting flights, you don't have to wear a uniform.  You can wear whatever you feel like, because once you're back stateside, it's almost like you're a real person again.

The reason why I was told to wear my uniform on the connecting flights to go home is because nine times out of ten, the flight attendant will stop you at the gate and ask if you're coming back home from a deployment.  If you are, she'll usually get all misty eyed and bump you up to first class, which means warm hand towels, free drinks, better food, and from what my friend robyn told me, real fruit served on real plates, all while thanking you profusely for your service.

Now this isn't a bad thing, per se, but I'm uncomfortable with doing this because I think it's lame and I hate patriotic/nationalistic bullshit.  Michael Moore, in his Digby blog, writes about the fetishization of the military in american culture (well it was more of a quip, really), and how you can't even move a military member's coat without thanking him for his service.  And it's kind of true.  When I was drinking at a dive bar outside of Keesler AFB during tech school, there were people who would buy me and my friends drinks while thanking us for our service (and usually regale us with stories that start with "I would've joined the military BUT...") as if the only thing you have to do to be an "American Hero" is to sign your name on an enlistment contract and get a bad haircut.  When I went to get my predeployment dental screening from my dentist, he thanked me no less than three times for "my service" and sent me off with a clean bill of dental health, a firm handshake, and a salute.

Okay, I was lying about the whole saluting thing.  He didn't actually do that.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that the military and everything they do is worthless, and I'm not denigrating the bravery of men and women in the blah blah blah.  I'm also not slamming these people for being thankful for whatever it is they think i'm doing, but the underlying ideology behind their responses is what bothers me:  Patriotism defined as nationalism personified in the military service member (and also free markets and corporations, but that's for another discussion).  Where a cruise missile is more patriotic than a teachers' union.  Where policy discussions on deficits and debt focuses almost exclusively on unrelated issues like abortion, or cutting medicare (damn those greedy old people!) but taking a look at defense spending?  Oh no no no.  that's unpatriotic.  Where someone can hijack a political discussion by saying so and so served in (insert military campaign here).  

Person A:  John McCain was a Navy pilot who got shot down over Vietnam!  He was a POW!
Person B:  Yeah, well he's also an idiot.  So I'm not voting for him.

But, you know, I am as god made me.   and I'd much rather spend a 10 hour flight back to Hawaii in first class, eating fresh fruit off a real plate than crammed in coach eating stale sandwiches and munching on in-flight peanuts.  Is there such a thing as sitting in first class cynically?

In real terms, it probably doesn't matter either way, but man.  fresh fruit off a real plate in an airplane with a warm towel? 

that would be pretty damn awesome.